Wybie and the Bear
by heygurlheyyyy
Summary: Wybie gets what he deserves. From the movie, y'all.


It was late evening, and by now most of Portland, Oregon would be asleep.

Though, during this evening, Wybie was walking through the forest observing random things when he decided to stop by Coraline's place, since her parents were out of town or something like that.

He turned directions and began walking towards the Pink Palace Apartments when, suddenly, he heard a noise like a twig snapping coming from behind him. He halted and turned around. Seeing it was nothing, he shrugged his shoulders, turned, and started walking towards Coraline's again.

Then, he heard a louder noise, this time bushes rustling. Wybie decided to not stop and he kept on going. He walked faster when he heard footsteps coming after him, then practically ran when he heard vicious stomping following him. He quickly turned around and held up a rock to the thing stomping, when it smashed into him and sent Wybie tumbling backwards.

Wybie held his head in pain and confusion. He usually wasn't scared of things in the forest, but this thing seemed huge, and it hurt him! He tried standing up when the thing swiped at him and scratched his face.

"Oh, my God!" Wybie cried as he jumped up and ran towards the Pink Palace, breathing heavily and flailing his arms around. The gigantic thing stomped after him and roared.

Finally, Wybie reached the Pink Palace. He ran up to Coraline's place and slammed open the door. The house was dark except for the dim light of a lamp or two.

"HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!" Wybie heard Coraline cry as she ran down the steps. She was only wearing a see-through bra and panties of whipped cream. "WYBIE?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WERE YOU SPYING ON ME AGAIN AND FILMING ME FOR ONE OF YOUR SICK PORNO MOVIES??!!"

Wybie ran up to Coraline and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Jonesy, you gotta help me! Someone's following me! I think it might be the Ronald McDonald statue I pooped on at McDonald's yesterday!"

Coraline, being the huge, annoying bitch she was, slapped Wybie across the face. "First of all, Ronald McDonald ain't real. The only people that are real are you, me, and the Other universe with people with button eyes and objects and animals that talk and that shouldn't be real but they are anyway and are planning to molest you in your sleep."

"I'M SERIOUS!!!! I think the person following might want to rape me, like my math teacher did after he invited me to his house for 'candy'!"

"_Wybourne_, go home!" Coraline bitch-slapped Wybie again. "I'm _trying_ to get my beauty sleep! Look at these eyes!" Coraline pointed to her eyes, which had crow's feet, huge dark circles, wrinkles, and the worst possible things you could imagine. "Now go home, or else I'll stuff this pole so far up your ass that it will come out of your mouth!"

"But Coral-"

"GO!" Coraline shoved her friend out the door and slammed it in his face.

Wybie stood facing the closed door for a moment. He gulped as he turned around and looked into the darkness. For once he was scared out of his mind. What if he was raped in the ass again? He decided it was time to face his fears, and travel home into the darkness…_alone_.

Wybie began walking at a brisk pace, occasionally glancing left and right out of the corners of his eyes. "No sign of Ronald McDonald yet," he thought. To get to his house, he had to go into the forest, the _dark, spooky_ forest, which had never scared him before until now.

As he was speed-walking, he heard a rustle coming from the bushes again. He walked even faster, still glancing left and right. He then started to run, run like the wind! You could hear the invisible audience shouting, "Run, Forrest, run!"

"I'M TRYING!!!!" Wybie called to the invisible audience.

This time, he heard the horrifying creature let out of terrible _roar!_ Wybie was running frantically now, flailing his arms around like he did about a half an hour ago while he was running from the terrifying thing.

Wybie gasped as a talking, gigantic-ass tomato protruded from the ground. "I'm a talking tomato!" it shouted. "Will you be my friend?"

"NOOOOO!!!!!!" Wybie shouted as he ran into the tomato.

"Ooh, I didn't know you wanted me in _that _kind of way," The tomato said, jiggling from Wybie being stuck inside him.

"MMFHM!!!" Wybie replied incomprehensibly, him being half-way inside the tomato.

"Fine, asshole! IT'S OVER!" The tomato shouted. He spit out Wybie onto the ground in front of the scary figure.

Wybie was now covered in red juices, probably the tomato's sex juices, and that is what one of the things the scary creature chasing Wybie loved most of all: people covered in tomato sex juices, and Alanis Morissette's music.

"W-What are you?!" Wybie cried helplessly.

The figure revealed it's face, and it was….Yogi Bear!

"Woo hoo hoo, I'm going to eat you!" He shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Wybie cried as he was enclosed in darkness.

* * *

The next day, most of the residents of the Pink Palace tried searching for Wybie. They checked everywhere, and his grandmother and parents were worried sick.

"Wybie! Where are you?" Wybie's grandmother called.

"Oh look, I think I've found Wybie's clothes!" Everyone heard Miss Spink shout from the forest.

They all rushed to the forest to find Misses Spink and Forcible hovering around something.

"No, dearie, I believe it was _I_ who found his clothing," Miss Forcible stated once everyone had gathered around.

"_You_ only_ thought_ there was evidence in the forest, but it was _I _who found the clothing," Miss Spink replied.

"Well, I-"

"Oh, my God! This means Wybie was raped!" Coraline shouted as she picked up Wybie's tattered pants.

"_What?!_" The adults shouted.

"It's obvious! Why else would there be tattered remains of clothes here with bite marks, scratches, and a sign that says 'Yogi Bear was here and ate Wybie'!" Coraline picked up the sign that Yogi Bear had left.

"Oh, poor Wybie!" Wybie's mother cried.

"Vhat a humiliating vay to die, being raped in the ass!" Mr. Bobinsky shouted.

"LET'S CELEBRATE!!!" Wybie's grandmother yelled.

"YAAAYY!" Everyone cheered, and walked back to the Pink Palace Apartments to celebrate that Wybie was gone!

YAAAYYY!

And Wybie was never seen again!

DOUBLE YAAAYYY!

And the all lived happily ever after, until the Other Mother came back to life and ate them all!

TRIPLE YAAAYYY!

**  
THE END! :)  
**


End file.
